Fake Passion

Growing up in Chicago during the 90’s made you the biggest Michael Jordan Fan. Actually, growing up anywhere in the world during that time made you the biggest Michael Jordan Fan. During those glorious years of 3-peats, something I didn’t yet understand was that I was simply watching the highlight reel of passion. I was in the passion game, like many others, for the ecstasy of victory. Riding the good feeling of being on the winning side.

I spent the bulk of my life believing that my personal passion was going to be a feeling similar to the passionate moments I watched on ESPN SportsCenter. Believing that committing yourself to your sport is an all-out, passion filled emotional journey. Chasing something to give me that “passionate” feeling, only to, in time trade it for the next when, as BB King says, “The thrill is gone.” The reality is, a lot of days in fitness kind of suck. It feels nothing like those glorious MVP moments that I watched MJ have.  In fact, most days I actually don’t feel anything! Just feels like I am living life normally as I always have. 

I realized my issue was that I had been defining passion vicariously. I am not Michael Jordan. I do not really know what his life is like. I am sure if you asked him what all of it felt like, it would be a simple and short, “Great.” No different than the high’s in my life.

I, like many of us, have come to the realization that my life is not a movie. There is no scripted climax. There is no announcer making me seem like a demi-god to the endless roves of fans. I chose fitness just as I have chosen where I live. A permanent fixed structure in my life. One which I couldn’t have been more excited about when I moved in. Now it like feels, eh. Just a condo.

Passion is a foundation to be built upon. Not a feeling to act from. Initially, I felt let down at this realization. As if chasing the goal now wasn’t as tempting.  I have found that the structure of real passion outperforms the feeling of the highlight reel any day of the week. And in that I find solace to keep plugging away at my passion within fitness.